2008 January | So Very Dark

UGh.

My brain is fried right now.

I’ve been suffering a severe case of artist’s block this week, causing the most benign doodles to come out looking like…well…I won’t get graphic, but they aren’t coming out quite how I want them to… (won’t get GRAPHIC — get it? I kill me.)

So, I had my concept development class today (got an A on my Plague Weather project — yay! 2 for 2…so far…) and we had an in-class assignment, you know, to be started and finished within the time of one class period. Our project was to come up with concept sketches for 15-20 monsters, aliens and/or demons, then to draw them in composition on an 11×17 piece of paper, in a nice, clean presentation.

Well, on the best of days I’m a bit of a slow worker. I mean, I spent every bit of free time for a week working on my circus group. And I only had about 3, 3 and a half hours for this, AND I’m not in top form this week…:P Hopefully I do okay…I was inking up to the last second, and of course my final piece had no where near the level of finish and shine that my circus picture did, but it was kind of fun…I went with ‘monsters, aliens and demons…at a tea party style picnic on a lovely day’ theme. I thought it was cute, but I certainly wish I could have had more time and made it, you know…better. Like…2 weeks would have been good. Or at least 3 days of uninterrupted homework time.

Anyway, my brain feels scooped out like a watermelon fruit salad bowl before they put the fruit back in.

I feel mentally exhausted.

I can’t leave the damn porch at school without getting a near heart-stopping shock off of the metal door handle. I wonder if others suffer from this same problem, and if so, how they nerve themselves to reach for the tool of their almost destruction. Maybe other people aren’t bothered as much as I am by that sort of thing. I frickin’ hate getting shocks.

It’s only 31 degrees or so out, but feels much colder. I need a nose-muff. Forget the ears. I have hair. My nose and sinuses feel like they are going to simultaneously implode and fall off by the time I reach a warm place after a cold place. Not to mention the fact that I sit around sniffling unattractively for about 20 minutes after leaving the outdoors, even after blowing what seems to be every bit of moisture out of my nose.

I think I’m going to do the dishes. That takes next to no brain power. But after that…I’m not sure. I should park myself with my sketchbook and get back to work, but I don’t know if my brain can face that right now. It’s petitioning for the night off.

Someone is doing laundry downstairs. They stole my idea, damnit.

I’m wearing anklet socks and my ankles are cold.