So Very Dark

Today was a long day…extra long ’cause it was left over from yesterday, as I pulled an all-nighter to finish up a project.

Today was made of ups and downs.  The photo student I was working with on my quarter-long project seems to have totally dropped the ball and bailed, which left me in a rather bad spot…but to finish the project I got teamed up with a girl who graduated last quarter, but had such a crap graphic design student the first time around that she wants a chance to have it done correctly, by someone who knows what they are doing.  Apparently I qualify.  Even better, her subject matter shares enough similarities with my previous project that I can probably do a bit of tweaking and fit her project into my exisiting layouts without too much trouble, overall.  And since she is already graduated, I don’t have to have the project done until a week after everyone else, as she doesn’t have to have time to send her book off in time to get it back before finals.

I was exhausted by the time I got to World Lit class, AND we had our second test on Heart of Darkness…but the test was NOT hard, and I got my essay from the previous week back with nice comments and a 10/10 score.  Plus I made an observation on a scene in our book that my teacher himself hadn’t caught.

The biggest ups and downs, however, relate to my exciting scholarship award.  The up comes first:   I caught the woman in charge of the scholarship information to get clarification on a few matters, and after I had identified myself, she informed me that I had been chosen for a second scholarship as well.  Now, I don’t yet have official confirmation on that…and it’s always possible that she mixed me up with someone else that got two scholarship awards…but according to her, on top of my $5000 John A. Johns scholarship, I also am the recipient of the $1500 Ann Pearce Ferguson scholarship.

Now the down:  Awesome as that all may be, I had a suspicion that she confirmed.  I don’t actually get any of that scholarship money.  It goes directly toward my tuition.  Which is nice and all, but with how much I’m paying AIP for my education, $6500 isn’t going to make a big difference.  And I had plans for that money.  I was finally going to get my tablet, the lack of which I have felt sharply since about this time last year.  I was very very excited…and that’s even an educational/career expense.  And I had contemplated going to an optometrist to get a prescription a little more in keeping with my current optical needs.  And buying plane tickets to get to K’s wedding.

But because they don’t want me to go spend it all on beer or whatever, the money and I never come in contact.

It is all a great honor, of course, and I’m quite grateful…these awards can go on my list of educational achievements on my post-graduation resume.  And that’s all nice.  But the reason I APPLIED for the scholarships was so that I would get the chance to be able to afford my tablet.  I’m a little peeved, and feel petty because of it, and that makes me more peeved.  *sigh*

I’m exhausted and surely not writing worth a damn right now, and on the verge of a pity party for one…and there is pasta waiting in the other room, I’m ending this on the final note that I further marks in the ‘up’ column were contributed by late-afternoon coffee fresh-brewed in my cup at Starbucks and my sweetie picking me up with sushi, ’cause he knew that I could use a little boost, and it really did the trick.  Night all.