Archive Page 4

26
Apr

mini-update

Easter is over, so spring is officially here…which means the weather is fluctuating between torrential downpours and muggy warmth.  The unpleasant external climate does result in increasing springtime loveliness, however, as the ground is covered more each day in velvety green, embroidered with violets and dandelions and tangles of brambles and vines in the more wooded areas.  The trees themselves are not fully leafy yet in general, but the forests now look as though they are hung with a fine green mist.  Soon, flowers will be blooming and…whatever else happens in spring.

The warm and moist weather has had a positive effect on my garden boxes, which are just full of tiny sprouting plants.  Time will tell if they are grown from the seeds I planted or pre-existing weeds, but something is growing, and I choose to see that as an accomplishment.

Life is largely the same as it ever is; I live in the boonies, I like to draw and occasionally make something that doesn’t suck so much I can’t stand the sight of it.  However, occasionally, things break the monotony (as a side note, I can NOT spell today.  Thank god for spell check or this blog would be unreadable).

A week ago, my friend Dan and I took a mini-road trip to Wheeling, WV, to see our friend Jim talk about new media and how it allows us to tell stories differently.  Because the streets around the library are an impassable warren of one-way streets, we only really caught the second half, but what we saw was good and interesting and full of old people trying to understand why kids today want to post their passing thoughts, locations and drunken photos for the world to see.  All in all, it was an hour-and-a-half drive each way to watch about half an hour of lecture, but it was still fun.  It was an adventure and I got to go somewhere new.

I had a couple of possible freelance opportunities, but since sending price quotes, I haven’t heard back.  I am  now getting to experience first-hand the reality of people not wanting to pay for the time and effort art and design require.  I haven’t yet been told, ‘but…this isn’t like real work…it’s fun for you, so you would be doing it anyway, right?’ but I expect it will happen at some point.

This past Sunday, rather than sitting around a table in nice clothes and answering questions about our lives while we stuffed ourselves with ham, I spent the day making Doctor Who cupcakes and then we drove out to Sewickley and watched the premiere of the new season at Jim’s house.

I have been watching some other things, too, some awesome and some unawesome.  Last week, in the mood for something procedural, I downloaded ER and put Ally McBeal on my instant queue.  ER I just…haven’t been able to care about.  The acting is okay, some of the stories are a little interesting but…nope.  Don’t care.  Ally McBeal, however, (which I added with the idea that it would basically be Grey’s Anatomy, but with lawyers) I do care about in that it annoys me immensely.  Within the first five minutes of the show, Ally tells us that she never had an interest in being a lawyer and only went to law school ’cause her ex-boyfriend did.  However, unlike either Felicity or Elle, rather than finding her own voice and deciding that she could take or leave the man but loved school, she apparently just kind of…went to school and continued to pine over the guy the whole time (except, I suppose, when she was having an affair with her married professor.)  She is a strict adherent to ‘The Game’ (i.e. He has to call, don’t act interested, ect.), but when after playing by ‘the rules’ and getting dumped by her new beau, she chases after him to find out why.  I expected a firm set down and a ‘you seemed nice, but then you were nothing but drama and games and crazy’ but no.  He explains that she is too much woman, too strong and ambitious and he will never measure up.  *eye roll*  I kept watching it for about half the first season, but I have, I think, given up.  I did re-watch the episode of Futurama where the Planet Express crew make a new episode of ‘Single Female Lawyer’, though, and it was, as always, enjoyable.

On the awesome side of things — Briggs and I finally broke down and started watching the ‘Game of Thrones’ miniseries.  I haven’t yet read the books (I know, fantasy geek fail) but I’m enjoying the heck out of the series.  Briggs HAS read the books and is also enjoying it, so I guess that a pretty decent job was done making it.

Annnddd…a couple days ago I discovered My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic.  As a little pony fan from back in the day, I already had a soft spot, and apparently the show won awards and stuff…plus they have a Gallifreyan pony with a messy brown mane and an hourglass cutie mark (yes…that’s what the things on their butts are called)that makes cameo appearances.  I tend to be hesitant about reboots, especially of things I loved as a kid, but overall, it is girlie and awesome and just…well…I blew through the whole season in a few days.  I really hope there is more forthcoming.

My next adventure is giving Stargate another shot.  I’m told it gets good right after where I left off, so…we’ll see.

Not a lot else new or awesome in my life right now, and I have a little freelance project I need to finish up, so, until next time, muchachos!

22
Apr

Drawing a day

As mentioned in a previous post or two, I have started doing my drawing a day again, and while I find much of what I produce depressingly, well, sucky, there are one or two things I have liked well enough:

22
Apr

Life after college, or, still unemployed

It has now been about a month since I graduated.  Since I don’t have a job, this is kind of like…a really long spring break during which I send out resumes.  And though I am house-bound and occasionally lonely and always broke, I am rarely bored — quite the opposite, as, despite having all my weekdays free, I still never have enough time for all the stuff I want to get done.

There is yardwork to do and walks I want to go on, though rainy chilly weather keeps cooping me up and derailing my plans to get back in shape now that I’m out of school.  There is cleaning to do and baking and making dinners, catching up on a blog or two and blogs I keep forgetting to write and a couple stories that have been on LONG hiatus that I should really get back to, and, of course, job searching, searching, searching.

And the art I’m trying to get better at.

I know that graphic design is a more marketable skill and I was better off in a graphic design program than an illustration program in regards to getting a job some day…but a part of me wishes, a little, that I had gone to school for illustration, especially as most of the attention my work has gotten and my most promising leads have been for illustration, and my skill level is not where I want it.  As I have free time, I’ve been wanting to start on some larger personal projects, but I just am not where I think I need to be with my art, and it is super frustrating.  At the same time, I know that I spent whatever personal time I had at AiP working on my art, and illustrated as many projects as I could and took every illustration class I could, and I am miles from where I am when I started, and it’s a process and takes work and I won’t get better overnight.

So, I’ve been doing exercises to try and improve.

I started back up with my drawing a day.  A lot of times I hate what comes out at the end, and other times feel indifferent at best, but occasionally I have gotten something I like.  As my days are full with many projects and pursuits, many nights I don’t get started until after dinner, and don’t have as much time and inspiration to put into my work as I should, but heck, I’m drawing and working on stuff that needs work, so that’s progress.  I feel like my artist’s block and burn-out are maybe fading.  Maybe a little.  I’ve been frustrated by the skill of others.  I hate how cranky not producing art I love makes me, but love the narcotic bliss of producing something I love.

I managed to get my hands on a collection of Andrew Loomis art books in PDF format and they are amazing.  Just the glances I’ve taken inside the covers so far have sparked my imagination.

I’ve been trying to look through my inspiration galleries to relight my mental pilot lights.

I’ve been letting myself put my creativity where it wants to go, like into baking and (hopefully soon) some writing and crafting (I still haven’t broken out my awesome embossing set i got for my birthday!)

I’ve been making an effort to occasionally actually WATCH visually stunning shows, like Pushing Daisies, instead of just having them on as background noise while I work on other things.

I’ve been trying to remember to read, because beautiful prose inspires beautiful pictures.

I’ve been trying, without success, to get my blogs to go where I intend them to, and actually talk about what I’ve been up to and the book I might have the opportunity to illustrate, if the writer is willing to pay what illustrating actually costs, and about how excited I am about the new season of Doctor Who starting this weekend and the Who party I’m going to and the Who cupcakes I intend to make, and about the exciting journey i took to West Virginia.

Maybe, if I write a little more often, I can actually write about my life rather than my feelings of inadequacy.

31
Mar

Now What?

I wrote these words on my kitchen calender followed by an arrow jetting off from the day after portfolio review intothe foreseeable future.  (Or at least, to the end of March and a few days of April, because that’s all the page showed.) I wrote them in a combination of jest and trepidation, a nod to my new freedom and a slight exorcism of the fear brought on by that lack of known purpose.

Today those words caught my eye.  Now what indeed?

Today marks a week from my portfolio review, and I find myself despondent.  A week since three and a half years paid off in a day of bustle and stress and hearing AiP students say the words to me that I had spoken to countless previous graduates at the portfolio reviews I had attended as an undergraduate.   I’m done.  That’s lovely.  I’m the proud owner of a ‘Best of Show’ trophy made of plastic and a heaping pile of student loans, and now spend my days sitting around the house, hoping to hear back from potential employers…a task that was rather enjoyable for a few days, but has certainly lost it’s glamor.

Of the employers that expressed interest in my work at portfolio review, I have heard back from one.  I will admit, the job she is offering seems interesting, but I would begin as a benefit-free contractor and she referred to the rather mid-range compensation I proposed as ‘the big bucks’ (that I would not be making yet)…and my employment is in no way guaranteed — my next step is to come in and do some ‘test’ illustration to see if I can work in the styles they want.  Which makes me sure I will choke.

The other emails I sent out have gone, as yet, unanswered.  To say nothing of the graphic design want ads I have been answering for upwards of a month.

During one of my early quarters, a teacher spoke of a former student who, to her frustration, hovered in the ‘C’ range.  Determined, she buckled down and re-worked previous projects, made multiple variations and did many times the work required of her.  At her portfolio review, an employer was so impressed with her work that he asked her to come to the city in which his company was located immediately, the following day.  When she waffled, he insisted, offering to pay moving expenses if she only were to come join his company right away.

During my time at The Art Institute, I worked hard (most of the time, at least.).  Partially due to inspiration from that story, partially due to my over-achiever nature, I regularly did two or three times the work required.  My teachers liked me, held me up as an example to my peers, kept my projects to show later classes ‘how it was done’, as they say.  I was in an honors class, I won scholarships, I was student of the quarter.

I admit, I there was a little part of me, in the back of my mind that kind of thought, maybe I would have a company so desperate to have my work that they would pay for me to move to their fair city.  Or that perhaps, I would have employers fighting over me, wooing me with bonuses and perks.

That I would get more than three solid expressions of interest, at least.

That more than one of those employers would get back to me.

Despite the fact that my scholastic performance was excellent, only one of the employers I spoke to was interested in my graphic design skills…and yes, I did focus on my illustration abilities, but that certainly isn’t all that I am capable of and I have been told that my graphic design skills are very good as well.  And it is exciting to have people interested in my illustration abilities, but I would have thought that at least a few people might have liked my graphic design work, my advertising work, my web design.  But despite teachers telling me that I’ll “do fine”, “have no problems getting a job”…I seem to be off to a lackluster start.

And perhaps it’s just the weather…the snow and cold that is hanging on at the very bitter end of March and killing my freshly bloomed daffodils that is making the future seem gloomy.  Maybe it is the hormones I accidentally threw out of whack, or the personal art project that I started today that isn’t going as well as I want it to — a dependable source of bad-moodiness.  Or being broke or being cooped up in the middle of nowhere all day or the weight gain a couple months of being couch-bound with homework resulted in that is bringing me down.  Maybe my long afternoon nap messed up my head.

I don’t know how to end this journal.  I feel sad today.






Paypal Payment

calenders and prints



Now Reading

Planned books:

None

Current books:

  • A Feast for Crows (A Song of Ice and Fire, Book 4)

    A Feast for Crows (A Song of Ice and Fire, Book 4) by George R.R. Martin

  • Crossroads of Twilight (The Wheel of Time, Book 10)

    Crossroads of Twilight (The Wheel of Time, Book 10) by Robert Jordan

Recent books:

View full Library